Going to stop using condoms? | Next: Step 2, Test 
To begin with, it's probably a good idea to talk about why you want to stop using condoms with each other:
- Are you both sure about this?
- Have there been any problems in the past that may make this a risky decision?
- Do you communicate well enough to be able to talk about problems if they arise?
- If you are monogamous but one partner does have unsafe sex with someone does that mean the relationship will be over?
- How might you deal with the situation of one or both of you test positive for HIV?
Once you have discussed these issues you can come to a clear agreement on the guidelines of sex within and outside the relationship. These could be agreements like:
- "We'll be monogamous but a 'slip-up' doesn't mean the end of the relationship."
- "We'll only have sex with other people as threesomes, and we'll use condoms then."
- "We can have sex with other people alone but it won't include anal sex."
- "We can have sex with other people that includes anal sex but always using condoms."
It's also a good idea to talk about how you might deal with problems that may arise. If one of you slips-up, but fears losing the relationship, it makes it more difficult to be honest about the incident and possible consequences of it - it could put the other partner at risk of HIV infection.
Possible strategies for dealing with a problem may include:
- "We'll go back to using condoms until we've been tested again."
- "We'll go and see a counsellor to talk through issues that have come up."
- "We'll have a cooling off period before making any major decisions about the relationship."
Once you've come to a common understanding about what you want out of the relationship, formed an agreement about sex outside the relationship, and talked about dealing with problems and slip-ups, you're ready for Step 2: Test...